Not sure if I'm supposed to post something like this here, but whatever. It's the day after getting voted out and I feel pretty weird. Losing doesn't really bother me that much, but I was never as much of a super fan as most of the other players out here. I started watching survivor pretty recently because my brother wanted a sibling to be addicted as well. What's really killing me is this weird empty feeling I get now that I can't talk to the other players, and now that I know a lot of them were lying to me. I made this game a decent part of my life for the last week or two, and I really felt like I was friends with the people I was playing with. I would get excited to talk to people during the day to break the monotony of my job, and would always be on early and late for challenges just to hang out with people. I know this is a dumb way to feel, because people are here to win the game, but knowing that so much of that was/could have been fake kind of sucks. It's also super hypocritical, because I acted the same when I was in on votes (Sorry Kellyn). Looking back with the lens that everything said to me could've been manipulation or jury management makes the whole experience feel kind of awful. I think If I went home without being blindsided I'd be fine, but knowing that 2 of the players I shared a lot of time and stories with were willing to send me home in a pretty brutal split vote taints the memories of just hanging out and having fun together.
So that's my current update of the day. Ponderosa is slow, and it reminds me of how it felt to quit most social media. I'm so used to having people on to talk to whenever and being happy playing this game, so it was like mini social withdrawal. I know it goes away with time, but I was curious if other players or hosts have felt this way.
That was lame and sad, so here's a cute lion cub
